


let it touch me (never you)

by volunteer_of_hufflepuff



Series: looking through a shattered telescope at another universe [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon, Drabble, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Immortality Issues (Shadowhunter Chronicles), M/M, Post-3x10, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-14 07:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14765474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volunteer_of_hufflepuff/pseuds/volunteer_of_hufflepuff
Summary: We do not fear death because of death itself, but because of the connotations and the lack of understanding it brings.Magnus Bane has been cursed with immortality, and as another loved one creeps away into death, he contemplates the dagger of death.





	let it touch me (never you)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short, angsty drabble. Pretty busy at the moment, will probably pick up more around July.

 

Magnus knew death way to well for someone who had never died. He knew the light it stole from people's eyes, the breath it squashed from people's lungs, the blood it turned into dust.

But today, in particular, he wanted to escape the shadow of death, yet it slipped through his fingers time and time again into the souls of the people he loved. One of his own arrows sticking out of his chest, his breath fizzing out, Alexander Lightwood was dying in his arms and there was nothing he could do.

Their love has a sketchbook left to be filled; one purchased out of love that shone so bright because its loss would be so crippling.

"I'll take care of him," he had told Jace.

But he was useless. Magic snatched away by its gifter, his phone nowhere near. All he could do was wait. Wait, and hope that Alexander didn't succumb to death. Death had already stolen so much from him; there was a splinter holding up his battered, aching heart, but if that splinter cracked... 

May there be mercy on Lilith, for with or without his magic, Magnus wasn't going to let this go. But maybe he wouldn't have to.

Yet the gasps became shallower, his hand limper, his eyes dimmer.

_I don't care if it means that you have to watch the one you love wither and die._

Alexander's pulse was fluttering, so were his eyes, and the night was silent and still, except for an explosion that tore through the night, but Magnus didn't care.

Though they were protected from its shrapnel down here below, a piece had already gone flying, chipping away at Magnus' heart as it stole Alexander's life.

Mission accomplished, Lorenzo.

Alexander's body was heavy - yet he was not quite dead, his breath faint - but Magnus didn't know how much longer he had. As the seconds swung by without a miracle, so did the tears rolling down Magnus' face.

Dying. He'd order it a million times for himself if no one else had to feel its blade. Chopping, stealing, shattering.

But death would never take him. It would, instead, force him to watch everyone else leave him behind. And time partnered with death, to leave him gasping with the lack of it and the wish for the abundance of it. But never for himself, but for those who fell to death.

The alley was bitterly cold, but Alexander's barely there whisper of  _it's ok, Magnus, I love you,_  couldn't stop his heart from being the coldest place in the world. Snuffed out candles, never burnt to the stump, collecting and collecting until he had found Alexander, who bore a light bright enough to warm the frigid place.

 _Out, out, brief candle. Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon stage and then is heard no more._ Macbeth's cynical and emotionless approach to his wife's death was admirable. But it wasn't Magnus' way - he wasn't power hungry.

Life was fickle. But hopefully, Alexander clung on.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading. Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://mirrorofliterature.tumblr.com/).


End file.
